#MeTooProtectiveMoms
I witnessed firsthand: survivors of domestic violence reaching out to the courts for protection, both for themselves and their children, only to be denied that protection—often in ways that humiliated or disrespected them or increased the danger to them and their children. Most survivors assume that if, they come forward honestly, risking their lives and their children’s lives by defying their abuser, the justice system will be there to provide protection and justice. For many reasons thousands of victims experience the very opposite in our nations courts.
Professor Joan Meier
The George Washington Law Center (DV LEAP) Washington, D.C.
Founder of Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project.
Professor Joan Meier
The George Washington Law Center (DV LEAP) Washington, D.C.
Founder of Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project.
Men’s violence in the family is rendered invisible by our family/custody courts. The assumption victims of domestic violence are well-protected in our courts is false. The assumption mothers are favored in custody is equally false. Courts do not understand, let alone recognize domestic violence and child abuse and their implications for children and parenting. These courts ostensibly of law turn against mothers and children who insist on pressing abuse by a father. Routinely, the courts respond by maximizing an abusive father’s access.
Professor Joan Meier recently conducted a national pilot study that focused on child custody. Pilot data revealed that despite mothers’ and children’s reports of sexual abuse by the father of the child, the court sided with the father’s denials 81% of the time. Even after family courts acknowledged that the father was violent in the family, courts still sided with the father almost 40% of the time, offering zero protection for his victims.
https://scholarship.law.umn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1576&context=lawineq
Professor Joan Meier recently conducted a national pilot study that focused on child custody. Pilot data revealed that despite mothers’ and children’s reports of sexual abuse by the father of the child, the court sided with the father’s denials 81% of the time. Even after family courts acknowledged that the father was violent in the family, courts still sided with the father almost 40% of the time, offering zero protection for his victims.
https://scholarship.law.umn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1576&context=lawineq
Welcome, Everyone! Annapolis, Maryland
Thousands of you already know my site and have petitioned for Elsa’s vindication at www.Justice4ElsaNewman.com. Elsa is one mom who journeyed from visceral excoriation in a family court divorce to imprisonment as a conspirator of one to a crime that no one committed and did not occur. The family court judge found no other way to shut mom up except to turn the matter over to the criminal court next door. The divorce lawyer for father along with the Guardian Ad Litem for the children colluded with the state prosecutor to demonize Elsa while transforming an abusive DV father into the good guy. The state prosecutor compulsively sat in on Elsa’s divorce hearings and sought search warrants against Elsa, 9 in all. None of them turned up any incriminating evidence unless you count Elsa’s heavily annotated copy of the State of Maryland’s Child Safety laws.
Margery Lemb Landry broke into the house where she found the father in a compromising position. They fought and she was bitten and bruised, but he was shot in the leg. Mrs. Landry has repeatedly written and testified she did what she did because she decided on her own without consulting with the children’s mom to go outside the court system in order to protect children who were her godchildren.
Mrs. Landry was allowed to plead guilty to assault and left prison long before my friend. Mrs. Landry said she saw no other way to help my friend's children except by criminal activity, and that is a lesson we want everyone to absorb. Mrs. Landry's crime did not help anyone, of course. Worse, it separated Elsa from her children and turned an abusive DV father into a pitied victim. My friend endured multiple trials, years in prison, and the ravishing of her family and her life. This site is not about that anymore because my friend, Elsa, is, thankfully, in a better position and she asked we change the focus. Elsa and I want to make my site about these terrible family court journeys protective moms make to support their children’s cries for protection from a father’s abuse.
Margaret Candler, President, Citizens for Fairness and Justice
Thousands of you already know my site and have petitioned for Elsa’s vindication at www.Justice4ElsaNewman.com. Elsa is one mom who journeyed from visceral excoriation in a family court divorce to imprisonment as a conspirator of one to a crime that no one committed and did not occur. The family court judge found no other way to shut mom up except to turn the matter over to the criminal court next door. The divorce lawyer for father along with the Guardian Ad Litem for the children colluded with the state prosecutor to demonize Elsa while transforming an abusive DV father into the good guy. The state prosecutor compulsively sat in on Elsa’s divorce hearings and sought search warrants against Elsa, 9 in all. None of them turned up any incriminating evidence unless you count Elsa’s heavily annotated copy of the State of Maryland’s Child Safety laws.
Margery Lemb Landry broke into the house where she found the father in a compromising position. They fought and she was bitten and bruised, but he was shot in the leg. Mrs. Landry has repeatedly written and testified she did what she did because she decided on her own without consulting with the children’s mom to go outside the court system in order to protect children who were her godchildren.
Mrs. Landry was allowed to plead guilty to assault and left prison long before my friend. Mrs. Landry said she saw no other way to help my friend's children except by criminal activity, and that is a lesson we want everyone to absorb. Mrs. Landry's crime did not help anyone, of course. Worse, it separated Elsa from her children and turned an abusive DV father into a pitied victim. My friend endured multiple trials, years in prison, and the ravishing of her family and her life. This site is not about that anymore because my friend, Elsa, is, thankfully, in a better position and she asked we change the focus. Elsa and I want to make my site about these terrible family court journeys protective moms make to support their children’s cries for protection from a father’s abuse.
Margaret Candler, President, Citizens for Fairness and Justice
“Never in my 35 years of experience in this field have I seen a push back quite like this one [in Elsa’s case], with such rampant cross pollution of interpretation and conclusions and retributive actions.”
Dr. Eli Newberger, M.D.
Founder/Director Child Abuse Unit at Boston Children’s Hospital
Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School
Dr. Eli Newberger, M.D.
Founder/Director Child Abuse Unit at Boston Children’s Hospital
Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School
“My heart goes out to Elsa, I cannot imagine a worse Hell than trying to protect your children from behind bars. I do believe that one day her story will be used as an example of how terrible the family court system has become.”
Professor Garland Waller
Director, Television Graduate Program
Boston University College of Communication
Professor Garland Waller
Director, Television Graduate Program
Boston University College of Communication
“Elsa Newman’s case is the most incredible miscarriage of justice I have personally witnessed during my 24 years in the Legislature, and beyond.”
Former State of Maryland Delegate Joan Pitkin
Former State of Maryland Delegate Joan Pitkin
I met Margaret Candler at a spring potluck in Annapolis. We were there for climate change and controlling the careless abuse of the environment. We were seated side by side at the dinner table. We shared a smile, finding our common concern for our planet as a matter of principle but a little reserved about approaching neighbors on recycling shortcomings. When I learned Margaret worked for Anne Arundel County, Maryland social services on severe child abuse cases, I confided I was pleading with family court to protect my own children, abused during visits in the course of my divorce. Our conversation at a climate change dinner was the start of our now 20-year friendship.
As long ago as it was when we met, even longer ago the American Bar Association strongly warned that child abuse occurring during a divorce is notoriously poorly investigated, if at all. At that climate change potluck, I began telling Margaret of the rigorous research from dozens of respected sources supporting the conclusion of overlooked child abuse during a divorce. Added trauma gets heaped upon child abuse victims and their protective moms by the very institutions whose responsibilities to protect are shirked.
Margaret cut short my excruciating monologue. Margaret shares her husband's Quaker attendance, and those beliefs infuse an admirably optimistic view. She understood—though this conclusion of institutional neglect defied her own role at social services. Margaret wanted to get involved. This was the one time I did not need to explain how lack of protection for children could happen. Thankful, I drew breath. Margaret holds loved ones in the light even as she grasps sick, ugly things can happen. At that potluck, I found spring really arrived. Margaret believes in hope powered thinking and acting accordingly. She believes, as I do, in the power of principle. This is the foundation for this site.
Elsa
As long ago as it was when we met, even longer ago the American Bar Association strongly warned that child abuse occurring during a divorce is notoriously poorly investigated, if at all. At that climate change potluck, I began telling Margaret of the rigorous research from dozens of respected sources supporting the conclusion of overlooked child abuse during a divorce. Added trauma gets heaped upon child abuse victims and their protective moms by the very institutions whose responsibilities to protect are shirked.
Margaret cut short my excruciating monologue. Margaret shares her husband's Quaker attendance, and those beliefs infuse an admirably optimistic view. She understood—though this conclusion of institutional neglect defied her own role at social services. Margaret wanted to get involved. This was the one time I did not need to explain how lack of protection for children could happen. Thankful, I drew breath. Margaret holds loved ones in the light even as she grasps sick, ugly things can happen. At that potluck, I found spring really arrived. Margaret believes in hope powered thinking and acting accordingly. She believes, as I do, in the power of principle. This is the foundation for this site.
Elsa
Citizens for Fairness and Justice, which I started, has as its’ purpose the support of women who battle the family courts. Our mothers attend to their children’s concerns. They thoughtfully ask these courts to pay attention to their children’s concerns. Mothers end up on their knees cut off from their children, divested of their finances, and ostracized by the court and sycophantic, venal lawyers and lawyers’ gravy trains.
Every year, mothers of 58,000 children stand in court to pursue what should be a simple protective measure for their children.* Elsa was one of these moms. Mandated reporters like teachers and doctors make child abuse reports despite knowing their reports will likely be ignored by social services. Instead of listening equally to fathers and mothers, unfortunately too many times only the father’s denial is credited in America’s family courts. These courts hold sway over social services. Not only is the father’s denial credited, the mom may go to prison. She may be painted as crazy, lose her standing in the community and worse. Routinely courts send helpless young children to stay with the very person they said hurt them, and some never return. Even those children who age out may be too traumatized to restore once close ties to mom.
Together we must exercise our freedom of expression to seek legal means to validate mothers like Elsa. These mothers are incredibly held accountable and viciously punished when the fathers blandly and predictably deny they abused their children. Much more rarely, the mother is the abuser.
We ask readers to come to the aid of protective parents, to stop the injustice, save the children, and stop traumatizing their moms.
Although the petition for Elsa is closed, you can read it and see names and comments of 1,393 signers. Those signers plus the thousands who signed prior petitions give me hope that together we can grow stronger. United we can end the injustices done countless mothers and children. I am proud of many fathers who support our group such as National Organization for Men Against Sexism.
Heart-felt thanks to everyone who speaks about the problems in our notorious family courts.
Margaret Candler
*from The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence; special thanks to Dr. J. Silberg http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/
Every year, mothers of 58,000 children stand in court to pursue what should be a simple protective measure for their children.* Elsa was one of these moms. Mandated reporters like teachers and doctors make child abuse reports despite knowing their reports will likely be ignored by social services. Instead of listening equally to fathers and mothers, unfortunately too many times only the father’s denial is credited in America’s family courts. These courts hold sway over social services. Not only is the father’s denial credited, the mom may go to prison. She may be painted as crazy, lose her standing in the community and worse. Routinely courts send helpless young children to stay with the very person they said hurt them, and some never return. Even those children who age out may be too traumatized to restore once close ties to mom.
Together we must exercise our freedom of expression to seek legal means to validate mothers like Elsa. These mothers are incredibly held accountable and viciously punished when the fathers blandly and predictably deny they abused their children. Much more rarely, the mother is the abuser.
We ask readers to come to the aid of protective parents, to stop the injustice, save the children, and stop traumatizing their moms.
Although the petition for Elsa is closed, you can read it and see names and comments of 1,393 signers. Those signers plus the thousands who signed prior petitions give me hope that together we can grow stronger. United we can end the injustices done countless mothers and children. I am proud of many fathers who support our group such as National Organization for Men Against Sexism.
Heart-felt thanks to everyone who speaks about the problems in our notorious family courts.
Margaret Candler
*from The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence; special thanks to Dr. J. Silberg http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/
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Remember the children murdered in 2018 by a parent with abuse allegations and/or custody issues including (but sadly not limited to) those listed here provided by the Center for Judicial Excellence database:
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“It’s really the same story of the #MeToo movement, just in a much more dire setting where children are at stake.”
Joan Meier, Professor at George Washington Law Center and DV LEAP Director/Founder
Interviewed at Pittsburgh City Paper for this February 28 article,
“Children’s Advocates Say Family Courts Unfairly Favor Fathers. Even When They’re Abusers”.
Quote from DV LEAP Newsletter February 28, 2018
Joan Meier, Professor at George Washington Law Center and DV LEAP Director/Founder
Interviewed at Pittsburgh City Paper for this February 28 article,
“Children’s Advocates Say Family Courts Unfairly Favor Fathers. Even When They’re Abusers”.
Quote from DV LEAP Newsletter February 28, 2018
www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/thanks-to-porn-children-are-sexually-assaulting-other-children-at-alarming?utm_content=buffer968d2&utm_medium=LSN%2Bbuffer&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=L
www.cbsnews.com/news/oprah-winfrey-treating-childhood-trauma/
www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/former-usf-professor-in-bitter-custody-fight-kills-3-year-old-daughter-then-himself-police-say-20181213/?fbclid=IwAR04y97rQeAa-vNXJjJmXz3Z1Why4jHn2GkCb2AaaeLjbOo0FekYTWIAjvM
www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?utm_sq=fl404ceepxhttps://www.dvleap.org
www.dvleap.org/
www.caprotectiveparents.org/new-research-shows-lasting-effects-of-trauma
www.abc10.com/article/news/local/abc10-originals/the-problem-with-family-court/550687204
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Equinox The season turns its pale page, tugs the sky a shade darker, shakes the carpet of summer out to lay autumn red and frosted upon the floor. Come children, for winter is at hand soon enough. Though warmth still shimmers On your fur, let me tuck you Beneath my chin. Let us burrow together, our howls joined in sweet song. I will teach you to hunt the thinning wood. To gather burgundy berries in your jaw. This is the mother’s task— to teach Her young to stave their hunger. To toss winter over a shoulder Like a fistful of salt. By GennaRose Nethercott TravelingPoetryEmpirium.com |
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Birthday Mother, let me congratulate you on the birthday of your son. You worry so much about him. Here he lies, he earns little, his marriage is unwise, he’s long, he’s getting thin, he hasn’t shaved Oh, what a miserable loving gaze! I should congratulate you if I may mother on your worry’s birthday. It was from you he inherited devotion without pity to this age and arrogant and awkward in his faith from you he took his faith, the Revolution. You didn’t make him prosperous or famous, and fearlessness is his only talent. Open up his windows, let in the twittering in the leafy branches, kiss his eyes open. Give him his notebook and his ink bottle, give him a drink of milk and watch him go. By Yevgeny Yevtushenenko |
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The failures of custody courts in their response to domestic violence and child abuse are both national and international in scope. Nevertheless, there are some unusual aspects to Maryland’s responses that are deeply disturbing. The Washington Post has done a particularly good job in exposing the mishandling of the Rams and Castillo cases. Maryland was the only state whose child safety laws require clear and convincing evidence in order to obtain an order of protection. Every other state allows for a reduced level of proof similar to that in other civil matters, a preponderance of the evidence, which means it is better than a 50-50 proposition. After the murders, Dr. Castillo testified before the legislature in favor of a proposal to make it easier for victims to obtain protective orders. One “fathers’ rights” supporter in the legislature deliberately tried to embarrass her about the sexual encounter she had with her husband. Even after the tragedy they were trying to justify the outcome. Maryland finally reformed its practices by allowing DV victims to obtain protective orders based on a preponderance of the evidence standard. The Rams tragedy has not led to any reforms. |
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In the entire history of the United States, it is hard to find any comparable problem where the courts routinely get such a high percentage of a group of cases wrong. The only example I could think of were civil rights cases in the south during the Jim Crow era. My concern with the Elsa Newman case is that the poison of the custody court failures crossed over to the criminal justice system. It would be a disaster for the court system if the problems involving custody courts’ response to DV were to spread further. No one in the Maryland courts or administration has seemed open to take a fresh look at the Newman case despite recent research that confirms the decision is wrong. From The Quincy Solution Stop Domestic Violence and Save $500 Billion By Barry Goldstein 2014 Reprinted with the author’s permission |
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RESOURCES
DV LEAP George Washington University Law School www.dvleap.org/ Battered Mothers Custody Conference www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/ California Protective Parents Association www.caprotectiveparents.org/ www.centerforjudicialexcellence.org/ www.leadershipcouncil.org/ www.childjustice.org/index.php?lang=en https://www.centerforthehumanities.org/programming/metoo-and-epistemic-injustice-conference 
Former California Superior Court Judge DeAnn Salcido blows the whistle on corrupt Family Law System in this video radio show. Her first year on the bench she had a CPS case in Family Court with allegations of molestation. |
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The more experienced judge taught her that many times these claims are made to get back at a parent and to be suspicious of claims. She placed the child with the custody of the accused father based on the CPS report whom she assumed did a thorough investigation. She realized not enough investigation is being done by CPS and the training for judges. The father in this case who was given custody later ended up abusing another child as well. Judge Salcido left the bench due to the problems she encountered from the lack of support to do what is right......She also saw the parties with the best financial means had the favored reports. The bottom line, the children are being hurt the most.
Victurus Libertas VL - Insider View of the Family Court Crisis
California Protective Parent's Newsletter Dec. 2017
California Protective Parent's Newsletter Dec. 2017
I found startling and dismaying the investigations of the D.C. Police Dept., Montgomery Co. Police Dept. and Montgomery Co. Child Protective Services agency. This was, in my opinion, abysmally inadequate to address the credible reports of abuse and the number of concerned and believing professionals, most of whom, it must be emphasized, possess far superior clinical credentials. The result of this inadequate work was, in my opinion, catastrophic.
I would emphasize that I have considerable experience evaluating mothers, including mothers who make false allegations. It is my opinion that Ms. Newman responded to these reports, and to the concerning information she was given by medical and mental health professionals, in a sensible, appropriate way. I am a pediatrician, and I have been deeply involved in interdisciplinary work in the child abuse field since founding the first child abuse consultation unit at Boston Children’s Hospital in 1970.
Dr. Eli Newberger, M. D.
Founder/Director Child Abuse Unit at Boston Children’s Hospital
Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School
I would emphasize that I have considerable experience evaluating mothers, including mothers who make false allegations. It is my opinion that Ms. Newman responded to these reports, and to the concerning information she was given by medical and mental health professionals, in a sensible, appropriate way. I am a pediatrician, and I have been deeply involved in interdisciplinary work in the child abuse field since founding the first child abuse consultation unit at Boston Children’s Hospital in 1970.
Dr. Eli Newberger, M. D.
Founder/Director Child Abuse Unit at Boston Children’s Hospital
Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School
U.S. Department of Justice Confirms Courts Botch Cases Like Elsa’s in a Disturbing Trend
ssw.umich.edu/about/profiles/saunddan/Custody-Evaluators-Beliefs-About-Domestic-Abuse-Allegations-Final-Tech-Report-to-NIJ-10-31-11.pdf
In April 2012, the U.S, Department of Justice authorized a report from Dr. Daniel Saunders which laid out how badly the state family court system mishandles the 1000’s of divorce cases involving domestic violence. Brave children who speak out against the abuser and honest moms who seek to protect their children are trashed and even criminalized like Elsa.
Unfortunately, abusive fathers who perpetrate severe abuse in the name of power and control are amply rewarded. We have seen this in the military and most recently in sports, entertainment and government.
Some of Dr. Daniel Saunders’ references:
Cromer, L. (2006) Factors that influence the believing of child sexual abuse disclosures. Dissertation, University of Oregon. ---p. 138
Danforth, G., & Welling, B. (Eds.) (1996). Achieving equal justice for women and men in the California courts: Final report. Judicial California Advisory Committee on Gender Bias in the Courts. Retrieved from: www.courtinfo.ca.gov/programs
Faller, K. C. (2005). False allegations of child maltreatment: A contested issue. Child Abuse and Neglect, 29 (12), 1327-1331. ---P. 140
Foubert, J. D., & Perry, B. C., (2007) Creating lasting attitude and behavior change in fraternity men and male student athletes: The qualitative impact of empathy based rape prevention program. Violence Against Women, 13(1) 70-86. –p. 140
Haselschwerdt, M. L., Hardesty, J. L., & Hans, J. D. (2011). Custody evaluators’ beliefs about domestic violence allegations during divorce: Feminist and family violence perspectives. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 26, 1694-1719. ---p. 141
Hester, M. (2009) The contradictory legal worlds faced by domestic violence victims. In Stark and E. Buzawa (Eds.) Violence against women in families and relationships. Volume 2: The family contest: Denver: Praeger. ---p. 141
Jaffe, P. (2010) Enhancing Judicial Skills in Domestic Violence Cases: A Process and Outcome Evaluation of a National Judicial Education Program. Unpublished report. Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children, Faculty of Education, University of Western Ontario. ---p. 142
Levin, S. (2004). Perceived group status differences and effects of gender, ethnicity, and religion on social dominance orientation. Political Psychology, 25(1), 31-48. ---p. 143
Zorza, J. (2010) Manipulative strategies used by domestic violence perpetrators. In M. Hannah & B. Goldstein (Eds.), Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody: Legal Strategies and Policy Issues, Kingston, NJ: Civic Research Press. ---p. 149
ssw.umich.edu/about/profiles/saunddan/Custody-Evaluators-Beliefs-About-Domestic-Abuse-Allegations-Final-Tech-Report-to-NIJ-10-31-11.pdf
In April 2012, the U.S, Department of Justice authorized a report from Dr. Daniel Saunders which laid out how badly the state family court system mishandles the 1000’s of divorce cases involving domestic violence. Brave children who speak out against the abuser and honest moms who seek to protect their children are trashed and even criminalized like Elsa.
Unfortunately, abusive fathers who perpetrate severe abuse in the name of power and control are amply rewarded. We have seen this in the military and most recently in sports, entertainment and government.
Some of Dr. Daniel Saunders’ references:
Cromer, L. (2006) Factors that influence the believing of child sexual abuse disclosures. Dissertation, University of Oregon. ---p. 138
Danforth, G., & Welling, B. (Eds.) (1996). Achieving equal justice for women and men in the California courts: Final report. Judicial California Advisory Committee on Gender Bias in the Courts. Retrieved from: www.courtinfo.ca.gov/programs
Faller, K. C. (2005). False allegations of child maltreatment: A contested issue. Child Abuse and Neglect, 29 (12), 1327-1331. ---P. 140
Foubert, J. D., & Perry, B. C., (2007) Creating lasting attitude and behavior change in fraternity men and male student athletes: The qualitative impact of empathy based rape prevention program. Violence Against Women, 13(1) 70-86. –p. 140
Haselschwerdt, M. L., Hardesty, J. L., & Hans, J. D. (2011). Custody evaluators’ beliefs about domestic violence allegations during divorce: Feminist and family violence perspectives. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 26, 1694-1719. ---p. 141
Hester, M. (2009) The contradictory legal worlds faced by domestic violence victims. In Stark and E. Buzawa (Eds.) Violence against women in families and relationships. Volume 2: The family contest: Denver: Praeger. ---p. 141
Jaffe, P. (2010) Enhancing Judicial Skills in Domestic Violence Cases: A Process and Outcome Evaluation of a National Judicial Education Program. Unpublished report. Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children, Faculty of Education, University of Western Ontario. ---p. 142
Levin, S. (2004). Perceived group status differences and effects of gender, ethnicity, and religion on social dominance orientation. Political Psychology, 25(1), 31-48. ---p. 143
Zorza, J. (2010) Manipulative strategies used by domestic violence perpetrators. In M. Hannah & B. Goldstein (Eds.), Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody: Legal Strategies and Policy Issues, Kingston, NJ: Civic Research Press. ---p. 149
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In order to understand better what happened to my friend and so very many good moms, I attended the Battered Mother’s Custody Conference where I met mothers from across the U.S. who had been abused by partners and then by family court personnel---good mothers whose contact with their children had been terminated or severely limited when the mothers mentioned child abuse.
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#MeTooProtectiveMoms
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Dr. Mo Theresa Hannah started BMCC to give protective parents support, education and resources to fight their court battles. Just knowing they aren’t alone helps a lot. I heard desperately sad (and amazingly similar) stories. The similarity in stories is not coincidental. As a child protection worker in the late 80’s to mid 90’s, I was warned to be skeptical of sex abuse reports in the context of divorce.
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More recently Parental Alienation Syndrome has been discredited but the damage done by the myth that mothers lie about abuse to gain custody is wide-spread among family court personnel. In fact, fewer than 2% of mothers lie and children rarely lie about abuse. Margaret Candler
8th ANNUAL BATTERED MOTHER’S CUSTODY CONFERENCE IS DEDICATED TO ELSA
There are far too many battered mothers who have unjustly lost custody of their children for us to list them here, but there is one whom we'd like to spotlight and honor this year: Elsa Newman. . . . . The friend acknowledged breaking into the house and has insisted Elsa had no knowledge of and nothing to do with her ill-conceived plan. There is no evidence tying Elsa to a crime, so the State's attorney relied heavily on Elsa's ex and his divorce attorney for their take on the divorce.
Help Elsa and all the mothers who have sacrificed so much for the safety of their children.
BMCC XIV is in Albany, New York, in April 2019.
https://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/
BMCC XIV is in Albany, New York, in April 2019.
https://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/
Evidence submitted by qualified experts who challenge the abuser’s case are often ignored in family court, and what the family court rules overrides any other opinion the administrative or executive branch of government like social services or law enforcement has.
Frequently the mother is unrepresented. Very frequently the parent with the deeper pockets prevails. The battle goes on until mother’s funds run out. Protective mothers are caught in secretive webs of concealment that are designed to obscure the true facts of child abuse, domestic violence, guilt of the abuser and innocence of the protective parent. Despite the escalating abuse of Elsa’s children, the divorce lawyers for her ex and for the children (supposedly) turned law enforcement against her to nail her with a family friend’s crime. No evidence linked her to the assault and the culprit testified that Elsa was completely innocent. I was at Elsa’s trials. I watched an ambitious, arrogant and ruthless prosecutor invent a case with the help of the divorce lawyers. Just remembering is still sickening.
I attended the Safe Child group Elsa started with then State of Maryland Delegate, Joan Pitkin and I became a court watcher. I heard protective parents’ stories (mainly but not only mothers) and saw how the family courts and family court appointed evaluators and children’s attorneys dismissed good mothers. Lawyers supposedly representing the children then called “Guardians ad Litem” (GALs) now “Best Interest Attorneys” (BIAs) overlooked domestic violence and credible reports of child abuse. Mothers were treated as criminals, accused of lying, called personality disordered, delusional, and crazy. I heard one judge call a mother a liar, a woman scorned. He actually said he would punish her for raising concerns of child sexual abuse. In our nation’s family courts, I sat and heard with my own ears mothers repeatedly disparaged in words dripping with sarcasm. Abusive fathers were treated as exemplary. This happened time and again in divorces which all agreed began with domestic violence. How can this be reconciled?
Fear of losing custody or jail for denying court ordered visitation forces moms to take fearful, resisting children to visits with their abusive father. One mother had to have a friend accompany her to keep the 6-year-old from jumping out of the car on the way. Yet, knowing this, the court order did not change.
Horrifically, divorce lawyers advise abusers to sue for custody. In over 70% of the time they win. Protective parents are often advised that bringing up the issue of abuse may result in loss of their children. Unbelievable! Right, but it happens all the time.
Bring attention to this grievous family court crisis that tears so many brave children from a parent who only wants to keep them safe. May attention result in changes to laws and the court system so that mothers and children will be safe in their homes. It could help change our country.
For twelve years Mothers of Lost Children and their supporters have gathered in front of the White House and in the halls and offices of congress to bring attention to the plight of mothers and children harmed by the nation’s family court system. Mothers’ voices and their tragic stories are heard and action is now taking place.
In July of 2017 Representatives Patrick Meehan (R-PA) and Carolyn B. Mahoney (D-NY) introduced House Bill 72, which expresses the sense of Congress that child safety is the first priority in custody and visitation adjudication, and that State courts should improve adjudications of custody where family violence is alleged.
Rep. Maloney said, “It is unacceptable that any child be placed in a home with an abusive parent. This important resolution will give State courts the encouragement and guidance they need to resolve all claims of domestic abuse before turning to the issue of custody.”
In support of this bill, Kim Gandy, President of The National Network to End Domestic Violence, said “Child abuse and domestic violence are often inextricably linked, with children being some of the most vulnerable victims of and witnesses to violence and sexual abuse. Despite the severe consequences to the future health of child victims and witnesses, state family courts often fail to hear and evaluate reports of child abuse and domestic violence.”
The bill states that child sexual abuse is under documented and unaddressed in the legal system. Child abuse is a major public health issue in the U.S. Associated costs of all types of child abuse (physical, sexual, psychological abuse and neglect) amount to approximately $124 billion annually. Longitudinal research by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention into “adverse childhood experiences” (ACE’s study) shows that children who experience abuse and neglect are at life-long increased risk of certain chronic diseases, including heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, liver disease, obesity, and high blood pressure.
I am more than glad to report that House Congressional Resolution 72 passed with zero opposition on September 25, 2018. The bill now goes on to the Senate.
Frequently the mother is unrepresented. Very frequently the parent with the deeper pockets prevails. The battle goes on until mother’s funds run out. Protective mothers are caught in secretive webs of concealment that are designed to obscure the true facts of child abuse, domestic violence, guilt of the abuser and innocence of the protective parent. Despite the escalating abuse of Elsa’s children, the divorce lawyers for her ex and for the children (supposedly) turned law enforcement against her to nail her with a family friend’s crime. No evidence linked her to the assault and the culprit testified that Elsa was completely innocent. I was at Elsa’s trials. I watched an ambitious, arrogant and ruthless prosecutor invent a case with the help of the divorce lawyers. Just remembering is still sickening.
I attended the Safe Child group Elsa started with then State of Maryland Delegate, Joan Pitkin and I became a court watcher. I heard protective parents’ stories (mainly but not only mothers) and saw how the family courts and family court appointed evaluators and children’s attorneys dismissed good mothers. Lawyers supposedly representing the children then called “Guardians ad Litem” (GALs) now “Best Interest Attorneys” (BIAs) overlooked domestic violence and credible reports of child abuse. Mothers were treated as criminals, accused of lying, called personality disordered, delusional, and crazy. I heard one judge call a mother a liar, a woman scorned. He actually said he would punish her for raising concerns of child sexual abuse. In our nation’s family courts, I sat and heard with my own ears mothers repeatedly disparaged in words dripping with sarcasm. Abusive fathers were treated as exemplary. This happened time and again in divorces which all agreed began with domestic violence. How can this be reconciled?
Fear of losing custody or jail for denying court ordered visitation forces moms to take fearful, resisting children to visits with their abusive father. One mother had to have a friend accompany her to keep the 6-year-old from jumping out of the car on the way. Yet, knowing this, the court order did not change.
Horrifically, divorce lawyers advise abusers to sue for custody. In over 70% of the time they win. Protective parents are often advised that bringing up the issue of abuse may result in loss of their children. Unbelievable! Right, but it happens all the time.
Bring attention to this grievous family court crisis that tears so many brave children from a parent who only wants to keep them safe. May attention result in changes to laws and the court system so that mothers and children will be safe in their homes. It could help change our country.
For twelve years Mothers of Lost Children and their supporters have gathered in front of the White House and in the halls and offices of congress to bring attention to the plight of mothers and children harmed by the nation’s family court system. Mothers’ voices and their tragic stories are heard and action is now taking place.
In July of 2017 Representatives Patrick Meehan (R-PA) and Carolyn B. Mahoney (D-NY) introduced House Bill 72, which expresses the sense of Congress that child safety is the first priority in custody and visitation adjudication, and that State courts should improve adjudications of custody where family violence is alleged.
Rep. Maloney said, “It is unacceptable that any child be placed in a home with an abusive parent. This important resolution will give State courts the encouragement and guidance they need to resolve all claims of domestic abuse before turning to the issue of custody.”
In support of this bill, Kim Gandy, President of The National Network to End Domestic Violence, said “Child abuse and domestic violence are often inextricably linked, with children being some of the most vulnerable victims of and witnesses to violence and sexual abuse. Despite the severe consequences to the future health of child victims and witnesses, state family courts often fail to hear and evaluate reports of child abuse and domestic violence.”
The bill states that child sexual abuse is under documented and unaddressed in the legal system. Child abuse is a major public health issue in the U.S. Associated costs of all types of child abuse (physical, sexual, psychological abuse and neglect) amount to approximately $124 billion annually. Longitudinal research by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention into “adverse childhood experiences” (ACE’s study) shows that children who experience abuse and neglect are at life-long increased risk of certain chronic diseases, including heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, liver disease, obesity, and high blood pressure.
I am more than glad to report that House Congressional Resolution 72 passed with zero opposition on September 25, 2018. The bill now goes on to the Senate.
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The United States House of Representatives PASSED H. Con. Res.72 |
AB 2044 was signed by California Governor Brown in September. AB 2044 requires the court to make the determination consistent with specified findings. The bill would include in those findings that children have the right to be safe and free from abuse and that domestic violence in a household where a child resides is detrimental to the health, safety, and welfare of the child.
Mothers of Lost Children will be back with their signs at the White House and in Congress. I will march with them again, glad that my friend Elsa is at last free. Margaret Candler |
Tragically, there are lasting, life-altering consequences to what a child endures from child abuse/domestic violence, of which child sexual abuse is considered a severe form. In the 1960’s, Head Start and other early childhood programs like Sesame Street sought to overcome diminished educational outcomes for children with disadvantaged backgrounds. Scientific research then demonstrated a direct connection between cognitive skill and childhood trauma. Over time, cogent medicine is increasingly assessing lifetime effects of traumatic childhood experiences and how to alter these outcomes. There must be better ways to protect children at the outset of the abuse.
Childhood trauma, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) in medical parlance, are translated to a numeric scale encompassing maltreatment, parental neglect, parental addiction, domestic violence, and physical and sexual abuse against a child. Studies of ACE have been done after and during childhood, making data both retrospective and prospective.
Look for ACE material under the heading Violence Prevention at The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) site. The foundational ACE research was initiated in 1995 by questionnaires from Kaiser H.M.O. members in California. The study evolved into a collaboration with the CDC. The research makes clear that child abuse foreshadows lower life expectancy and wide-ranging medical problems.
Beyond the CDC research, individual medical practitioners seek solutions upon independently documenting ACE’s insidious effects on adults they treat. In a March 21, 2011 article in The New Yorker, Dr. Nadine Burke, among others, explain the methods they developed for understanding medical conditions among the adults they treat. In their published paper available at the U. S. National Library of Medicine at the National Institute of Health, Dr. Burke and her co-authors reported that 3% of patients with an ace score of 0 had learning or behavioral problems, while 51% with an ace score of 4 or higher had problems.
Imagine how different it could be for DV victims if we could only convince the courts to remember that blindfold when they hear mothers speak to protect their children. Imagine the array of resources from social services to law enforcement to divorce personnel we could redirect to better use were we to correct our courts’ bias.
Elsa
Childhood trauma, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) in medical parlance, are translated to a numeric scale encompassing maltreatment, parental neglect, parental addiction, domestic violence, and physical and sexual abuse against a child. Studies of ACE have been done after and during childhood, making data both retrospective and prospective.
Look for ACE material under the heading Violence Prevention at The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) site. The foundational ACE research was initiated in 1995 by questionnaires from Kaiser H.M.O. members in California. The study evolved into a collaboration with the CDC. The research makes clear that child abuse foreshadows lower life expectancy and wide-ranging medical problems.
Beyond the CDC research, individual medical practitioners seek solutions upon independently documenting ACE’s insidious effects on adults they treat. In a March 21, 2011 article in The New Yorker, Dr. Nadine Burke, among others, explain the methods they developed for understanding medical conditions among the adults they treat. In their published paper available at the U. S. National Library of Medicine at the National Institute of Health, Dr. Burke and her co-authors reported that 3% of patients with an ace score of 0 had learning or behavioral problems, while 51% with an ace score of 4 or higher had problems.
Imagine how different it could be for DV victims if we could only convince the courts to remember that blindfold when they hear mothers speak to protect their children. Imagine the array of resources from social services to law enforcement to divorce personnel we could redirect to better use were we to correct our courts’ bias.
Elsa
We now know that adversity early in life can not only disrupt brain circuits that lead to problems with literacy; it can also affect the development of the cardiovascular system and the immune system and metabolic regulatory systems, and lead to not only more problems learning in school but also greater risk for diabetes and hypertension and heart disease and cancer and depression and substance abuse.
Jack P. Shontoff, M.D.
Professor of Pediatrics, Harvard Medical School
Professor of Pediatrics, Harvard Medical School
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fviolenceprevention%2Facestudy%2Findex.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3119733/
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/03/21/the-poverty-clinic
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3119733/
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/03/21/the-poverty-clinic
